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Yuu Are the Devil and I am in Love With Yuur Hell

I’ve tried to lead a good life
Never put myself 
Above anyone else. 
Always gave what I could give
And worked hard at everything I did 

I never understood the way 
Yuu chose too challenge me
And pointed out my ever fallacy
That I was fallible
And gullible

But yuu made yuurself seem loveable
But yuu were the Devil
A raging evil
Yuu fucked me up on another level
Thought yuu were Pride Rock
But yuu were just a pebble

Like “Oh my God, I’ll fucking shoot myself!”
“Oh hold on, I’ll meet yuu in hell!” 
Yuu cut me deep
When yuu contact me
Like I shouldn’t feel proud of the life I lead

And, like I said I’ve never done anything
Too wrong to anyone 
It’s been too long
Yuu’ve had me under yuur gun
We’ve had our fun
I can’t stress exactly how done 
I am with yuu and yuur crazy
Psychotic and spacey
And deadly 
Those were just lies yuu fed me

Monster

Have yuu ever hear the expression,

“Looks can be deceiving.” ?

If yuur paying attention,

This saying might be relieving.

For example, let’s just say my friend,

She’s been trampoled, crushed and bent.

And all the help I’ve offered, she always smacked the hand I lent,

Her pride, miles wide for herself inside,

The part we can’t recognize through her disguise.

Or our represetatives of the state,Always hesitant, always delayed.

As if their next words were chosen carefully,

But the whole world sees through their idiocy.

Their lies miles wide, the truth denied,

Destroyed, disguised.

Possibly myself, I am a guilty party.

Always claimed to be a bad bitch, never got outsmarted,

Now I’ve got this bad itch, what could I have started?

Ya see, I hide behind those lies,Because of my vacant eyes,

Because I fanatasize about suicide,

I’m always on a downward slide,

I’m so high, I’d tell yuu where my bodies lie,

I’m a monster yuu can’t recognize,

If I’m not wearing my disguise.  

I.
When I was trying to quit smoking
and we drank white wine from Mason jars,
you called my freckles cocoa powder
and I called your green eyes
celery.

II.
I am learning how to be a grown-up
who pays bills, cooks her own meals,
and doesn’t cry at words like
I think I just want to be friends.

III.
The truth is this:
Love is an organic thing.
It rots and softens.

All That’s Left To Tell, Clementine von Radics  (via swimmingpoolforants)

(Source: clementinevonradics)

Nature VS Nurture

I am told by mother nature
To cry when I am sad
And to feel bad
When I do something hateful
That I should feel grateful
For the people who love me

But I was nurtured 
To accept murder
To speed through my youth
Ignoring the truth
That there’s not a reason for everything
And there’s not a season we all sing

Then there’s that hidden part of nature
The part that makes me a faker
Deeply buried idealizations 
Quite disturbing contemplation’s
The horrific, a bit psychotic
And these thoughts are so toxic

Yet I was nurtured to expose
All my smiles and pro’s
Silent about the con’s
I always found it odd
Like am I really the only one thinking these things?
Am I the only one who fears what silence brings?

My nature is telling me
What’s the harm in taking this knife
And let’s see, I could end a life,
But who’s would it be?
Mine? Or someone’s wife?
A kitten running through the alley?
A flower blooming in a valley?

Though I was nurtured to believe
Not to believe what yuu can not see,
And yuu can’t see
That there’s someone crazy
Screaming inside me. 
And there’s no evidence
These thoughts have any relevance
To anyone I know
So why not let them grow? 

 

Motivation

As I’ve been drowning in this desperation
My veins pounding for motivation
Though I’m getting the sensation, I’m stuck
And regretting the temptation to say “Fuck,
“Yuu know I’m not really fretting, just slowly 
Realizing I can not rely on luck.” 
“Oh holy generalizing, yuu can not deny,
this tantalizing energy that comes with not being a schmuck!”
 

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